be my person

my musing for today:

I've been watching Grey's Anatomy for what seems like forever. I've been on board since the second season and we're up to season 9 now. Early on it was established that the title character, Meredith Grey and her best friend Christina Yang are each others 'person.' I don't know if labeling someone as your 'person' was a thing before GA, but it definitely is now. Of course people had 'persons', but did they think of them in those terms? Anyways, I read an article detailing what makes someone your 'person' and I liked some of their points. It's that person you can say anything to, do anything with, would do anything for, and under no circumstance would you ever not be in each others lives permanently.Are you starting to think about your person? If you even have a person that fits that description?

But an interesting thing happened a few seasons ago. Once these two besties were certain they had found their significant others (SO), being each others person became a bit of a touchy subject. The SO in these relationships needed to feel like the besties were their person and vice versa, but the besties already had a person -each other! I guess it would defeat the purpose of having a person if you were going to allow a few people to be your person and so they each had moments when they realized their SO had become their person. Is there pressure for your SO to automatically be your person? I guess this would be all be easier if you just called people what they are - best friend, boyfriend, cousin, whatever it is - but I've come to appreciate the roles people have in your life and I like the idea of there being 'that person.' For most people going to be your SO, but if it's not, I think that's okay too.

In another show I love, Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw calls her three best friends her 'soul mates.' They are people in her life who have transcended the levels of friends, family, and lovers. They could arguably be called her 'persons' as well, but a) the word implies that there is only one which is kind of what I was hinting at above and b) also going along with my earlier thought, being someone's person might not have been the way to term this kind of relationship before GA came along. Personally, I don't consider a person who you are not romantically involved with to be your soul mate, but maybe I just need to expand my horizons a bit more. Or maybe, SATC would have worded it differently if they had the term to begin with..

Your person, your best friend, your soul mate. Based on how you define these things or want to define these things, you can either have one of each or one for all.

reflection

So it's been exactly a month since I came home from New York and I've taken the time to see what my reflection has shown... something I set out to discover as mentioned I in my previous post...

One of those cliche sayings about New York is that 'if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.' So I am happy to say that I feel like I conquered the concrete jungle and made Manhattan my bitch playground. In fact, I did better than make it; I thrived. Some of my proudest moments were times I was mistaken as a New Yorker by others. I was able to give directions a couple of times, was asked how long I had lived in the city. I read a book while waiting for my laundry at a laundromat, complained about noisy trucks passing by my window in the morning, exercised in the park, ran to catch the subway, heard about a concert and went the same day, etc. I could really see myself living in the big apple in the future.

The city is definitely made for a girl like me with big dreams and who likes to always be on the go. I did miss loved ones at times since many of my days I only had myself for company with my brother working long shifts. But as Carrie Bradshaw said in a SATC episode, "New York is the perfect place for the single girl. The city is your date." I thought this when I found myself in her exact situation, on my way to the Guggenheim by myself one rainy summer day.

                                                     my concrete playground

My reflection time came during many subway rides and hours in museum galleries. I recognized a lot of my own faults that I need to work on as person and in my relationships. I have a image of the kind of person I want to be in my head, but often fall short. I need to be harder on myself to get there instead of letting other people dictate my emotions and happiness. It's not easy and I stumble every day, but there is progress. This step back from my usual life will make getting there will be easier too I think.

Now, I've come back to M I A happier and rejuvenated enough to take on those stresses again until my next great adventure: Japan.

Thank you, New York. You truly are the greatest city in the world.