to end the year.

I want to see beauty in all things, that is what I strive to do

I started a blog this year and have succeeded in making in an outlet for my thoughts - go me! - so I just wanted to add one more post before the year is up. I don't know how to feel about this year. Most people are ready for the year to be over to get a chance to start fresh again. I definitely want to start fresh and made necessary steps to ensure that I leave some unpleasant things in 2010, but altogether I mostly remember the fun I had in 2010...

• I went skydiving!
• had my two closest Japanese friends visit me
• finally went to Ultra Music Festival and loved it!
• lived the life a New York City girl while spending time with my brother who I hardly get to see
• went to the legendary Hogwarts!
• met some awesome people I really connected with
• applied to JET (one of my lifelong goals up to this point)
• took the JLPT (one of my goals for 2010)
• was thrown a surprise party by the love of my life
• was surprised by one of my favorite people ever all the way from Japan.
• and last! I finally made a big step towards one of my other lifelong goals - becoming a professional amateur photographer (taking pictures of overturned lawn chairs and such, haha!)

Embedded are some of my favorites shots that I took the other day when I was just trying to figure out the settings of my awesome new red camera. In reality, I know nothing about the subject of photography but have been told that I have a natural talent and a good eye so I want to nurture that since I already know I can be great at anything I put my mind to.

At midnight tonight I'll be shouting 'Happy New Year!' and thus starting what I see as the next chapter in my life. I will (finally) be done with schooling for the first time in my life and will get my first full-time job. I'll be moving out of my house and have my own place (doubly exciting and scary is that it will be in Japan!). I'm going to sell the first car I ever had which will be hard. I'll be away from family and friends on holidays for the first time ever which will also be hard. I'm going to travel to new and exciting places and hopefully take that Eastern Caribbean cruise I've always wanted to take! I'm going to see three of my favorite performers in concert and am SO excited for all three of them. I have a condition and if that condition is met, I'll be getting a tattoo. I've also decided to, for the first time, do a serious diet and exercise regime. I know my boyfriend and some friends say I have the "perfect body", but I don't agree since we all have things about ourselves we want to improve on. I mostly want to feel healthier - have more energy, look more rested, etc. I'm not going to do anything drastic, but at the moment I'm not doing anything to achieve this so my baby steps will hopefully show results in about 2 months time. Maybe some before and after pics? haha! That a BIG maybe.

Well that's all for now. Another resolution of mine is to blog more. It really lets people know more about me and allows me to see how much I've grown as a person (as well as laugh at my past-self for being such a dork). Plus considering how much I view this year as a turning point for my life, I want to document it as much as possible.

So long 2010, here's to 2011!

long time coming.

Disclaimer: This is all very random.

I know I always want to fast forward time and I'll probably regret it at some point, but not today. There's been a purpose to my prolonging my stay in Miami, but I'm long overdue to get out of here. I have a list of places I want to live and crazy things I want to do, and I've been ready, but just waiting - and as someone told me the other day, "I'm the most impatient person in the world" (we were playing a board game and he was taking for-freakin-ever!). But I didn't take any offense to that since it is quite true...lollygaggers doing there lollygagging business on my time is one of my biggest pet peeves.
---

There have been several very real times in my life when things go my way and I know, without a doubt, God is my on my side (although I've been called just the opposite). He has made the silver lining of things well worth the wait at times..like how there's at least one person out there I would like thank for their vandalizing ways. (maybe that does make me a little devilish, hehe. ah well)
A couple of months ago I learned one of my favorite bands was touring their new album. They weren't coming to Miami, but I was already trying to find a way to go see them in Atlanta or New York. But one of my closest Japanese friends was finally coming to Miami so I couldn't go. Then on the day they performed, they posted a picture on facebook and I commented "I should've been there! Please come to Florida!" Next time I check out their page, they had announced new tour dates and were coming as close as Ft. Lauderdale! With the quickness, I bought tickets! Thank you Jesus and Jimmy Eat World

---
I've been really grateful lately for the leaps and bounds I've made in a relationship that I thought I had ruined forever. I was never bitter towards this person, just hurt (which is why I think they came around) and it took a little more than a year, but it seems we've moved on. I plan on being in Japan next year, so it really would've disturbed me to have left on bad terms. On that same note, another awkward situation is following me despite my leaving it alone. This is another relationship that took a big hit and although I thought we agreed to disagree, this person is proving to be bipolar. I was ignored for months and then a text with, "I miss u" on a random Tuesday morning shows up. What?!! I don't even want to acknowledge the situation I've been so hurt and confused, but I'm not heartless. I know there are those who revel in the pain they've caused others, but I feel terrible when my actions hurt others, but in this case I don't know what to do...

---
It's that time again. Every couple of months, I get restless and want to change up my look a bit. Nothing as drastic as last year when I chopped off my hair (but I'm glad and I can say that I've done that once in my life). Maybe throw I'll throw in some crazy color as a last rebellious act before I have to be professional for the Japanese workforce. I saw an ad in a magazine that I liked but I always have second thoughts once I'm in the salon, hehe. If I actually go through with it, I'll post a pic of the ad and of me with the look. Along with the idea of changing up my look, one of my New Year's resolutions was to become comfortable with the idea of getting a tattoo. I feel like a tattoo shouldn't be a flippant decision, first time getting one or not. It shouldn't happen as an act of rebellion or something to be different for the sake of being different or even for a friend who thinks it'd be some kind of sign of our friendship. That being said, I met a Japanese tattoo artist while having green tea one day during my Brooklyn getaway and I got a really good vibe from him. I felt like he was a friend and we were just catching up over some tea. I told him how I wasn't going to get one till I was ready and he applauded me for making a responsible decision and respecting the act of getting a tattoo. I've checked out his website and am happy that if I do decide to do this it'll be in one of my favorite cities, with a Japanese artist, and with someone I didn't just meet on the spot.


Well I suppose that's enough of my musings for now.

hair story.

So I've had this silly entry in mind for a while and now the time has come.

A year ago I began a new chapter in my life I like to call 'The time I was an indentured servant.' It's not that bad I guess, but but being a graduate assistant certainly makes one in service to others at all times.

-digressing-

I wanted a never before seen look on me to commemorate this time but what I wasn't expecting was a whole new level of acceptance and freedom I gained about my appearance. I didn't play it safe that fateful day at the salon. When it was over and I looked at myself in the mirror I thought the urge to cry (I'm a crier) would come but instead I faced myself in the mirror and accepted it as the new me. It took some adjusting to but in the end I more than got used to it, I loved it! I wanted to maintain it especially the length and style of January, but I've become a restless person who is constantly in search of new thrills, challenges, and experiences and so, one day I'll return to this look, but in the meantime I have other plans for my lovely locks.

This is my hair story, a year in the making:

                  August. What have I done? I'm the fifth Beatle! Haha! This is right out of the salon

September. The sun has lightened my hair and I've started to play with styling

October. This was me whenever I was lazy with my hair. still cute ^_~

November. I was loving the Alice look from Twilight look and wore it to the premiere

December. For my B.A. Ceremony and my birthday. My hair felt so fun and flirty

                 January. The short hair with winter clothes really went well together

February. A Japanese friend came to visit this month and loved the look. International popularity status achieved!

 

 March: At ULTRA with Kristy and a surprise visit from Rae was easy, breezy, beautiful!

 

 April. Yesi's birthday and my Asian Studies award. Starting to look familiar..

 

May. I changed it up with some fire red for the mustache party. 

 

June. Constant washing has washed out most of the red but I'm loving how it's grown out. 

 

July. I've come full circle and am ready to go longer than ever before!

reflection

So it's been exactly a month since I came home from New York and I've taken the time to see what my reflection has shown... something I set out to discover as mentioned I in my previous post...

One of those cliche sayings about New York is that 'if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.' So I am happy to say that I feel like I conquered the concrete jungle and made Manhattan my bitch playground. In fact, I did better than make it; I thrived. Some of my proudest moments were times I was mistaken as a New Yorker by others. I was able to give directions a couple of times, was asked how long I had lived in the city. I read a book while waiting for my laundry at a laundromat, complained about noisy trucks passing by my window in the morning, exercised in the park, ran to catch the subway, heard about a concert and went the same day, etc. I could really see myself living in the big apple in the future.

The city is definitely made for a girl like me with big dreams and who likes to always be on the go. I did miss loved ones at times since many of my days I only had myself for company with my brother working long shifts. But as Carrie Bradshaw said in a SATC episode, "New York is the perfect place for the single girl. The city is your date." I thought this when I found myself in her exact situation, on my way to the Guggenheim by myself one rainy summer day.

                                                     my concrete playground

My reflection time came during many subway rides and hours in museum galleries. I recognized a lot of my own faults that I need to work on as person and in my relationships. I have a image of the kind of person I want to be in my head, but often fall short. I need to be harder on myself to get there instead of letting other people dictate my emotions and happiness. It's not easy and I stumble every day, but there is progress. This step back from my usual life will make getting there will be easier too I think.

Now, I've come back to M I A happier and rejuvenated enough to take on those stresses again until my next great adventure: Japan.

Thank you, New York. You truly are the greatest city in the world.

brooklyn getaway

 what will my time of reflection reveal?

My Brooklyn getaway starts on Monday. This trip was not planned for months and months like trips of this length were. It was a gift from above from someone who knew I needed this badly.. A little over a month ago, I called my brother to wish him a happy birthday and we started catching up. It turned out that his roommate and best friend had to leave before his lease was up for some medical classes back in Miami and that he had an extra room, rent-free till August.  I jumped at the opportunity and next thing I know, I'm spending 6 six weeks away from it all. 

People who know what my life entails these days might think, 'away from it all? C'mon your life's not that stressful' and the truth is that even with a full time class load of masters classes and a part time job, it probably isn't (except no, going to work and school at the same time isn't a piece of cake). Nevertheless, I've grown tired of the day-to-day rut and wanted a change of pace. I'm a creature of habit but not a habitual creature. I have routines, but I try take incorporate spontaneity too. So a chance to explore NYC and the vicinity became a shining star to propel me through last part the semester.

For most people I know, time away like this from their loved ones would be difficult and might even prove to be too much. I will miss my friends and family but in an odd way I feel like I've been conditioned for this by now. In the past couple of months, certain difficult situations are making this leave of absence a piece of cake. Close friendships became distant, disappointments dispelled naiveties, and one leech of a job that takes up most of my boyfriend's job anyway means this will be a cinch. . 

NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN!  

remember me

"Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant. 

But it's very important that you do it. I tend to agree with the first part."

I loved this movie (and not because of Edward incarnate) For some reason, the preview made me think that this movie would be about finding yourself and not wasting your youth- a concept I obsess over. I probably thought that because the above quote is said by Tyler (Rpattz) in the preview. 

I wouldn't try to convince someone that this is Oscar-worthy work but it did resonate with me. **Spoiler Alert!** Some of the things that really touched me are because I have a memory that I could relate to or because it's something that I've thought of or desired. Like, the odd quirks you discover as you're falling in love, the beautiful relationship between an older brother protecting his younger sister, anger with injustice, making it on my own, train rides, and of course, doing something significant in this life.

Movies like this don't come along that often, so please don't be juvenile and hate it based on Robert Pattinson. Just watch and be prepared to cry. 

limited time only

Something that I've been doing lately is referring to my day journal from my trip to Japan last year to see exactly what I was doing at this time one year ago. I was in Japan last year 'for a limited time' (till May 31st) so now I look back and remember, reflect, and appreciate every moment of that great experience.

I hope I've built some suspense with that prior paragraph and now you want to know what today held. Well, I can't say all that transpired as it was written in my personal journal but, here's the annotated version:

March 19, 2009

    Got up early to go to the airport, got some strange looks but cleared immigration to get back into Japan!, ate at the McD's by Hirakataeki, got home and showered the Korean smog off of me. Did some laundry, made dinner while watching 'Next' (it was quite bad), fell asleep really early.

Not a particularly interesting day, but give me a break, I had just gotten back from Spring Break in Korea. ::sigh:: I miss Japan everyday so it may be a topic rather often on this blog.

                           Above: the aforementioned Korean smog.

Below: the delish dinner I ate that night.

pretty date to start a blog

"A rare and beautiful flower for a rare and beautiful girl"
My boyfriend gave me an orchid on another pretty date.
March 15, our Anniversary.

This is my first public blog and I'm starting it on what I call a 'pretty date,' meaning the way certain months and days sound and look on paper are pretty to me. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head most of the day and I want to get them out and hopefully find others who are like minded to make me feel less crazy, haha!

I'm a big fan of puns and word play so naturally, the title I came up with has something of that quality. 'Amused' would accurately describe how I find humor in most cases, but in a way that only make sense to me. According to dictionary.com 'a muse' is a source of inspiration, a guiding spirit, and poet; things I hope to continue to always be. To be 'mused' is to be absorbed in one's thoughts; engaged in meditation - something that I often am.

Be amused!