live it. learn from it.

A bit of a random post about a couple of things I've been contemplating

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You know that saying, ''experience is a hard teacher cause she gives the test first and the lesson after''? Soooo true. This has been one of the hardest times of my life (not the hardest by a long shot though). The problem is simple - lack of experience. Another truism that is said about experiences is that it is invaluable. Money can't buy you experience. Work experience, love experience, life experience, etc. Learning from people who have this kind of experience may help you, but until you endure yourself, you have no idea. That's why when you're immature and/or naive, you tend to think you know it all and judge situations based on your own impressions. The worse thing that can be done beyond this is to actually act or speak based on such judgments and ill-conceived notions. When you've actually been in the other person's shoes (meaning, experienced it yourself) is when your input becomes worth any real value.

In my short time on earth I've had complete turnarounds in my way of thinking after experiencing something firsthand. I think this has made me more sympathetic and definitely more empathetic. Before I had my heart broken, how could I really relate to all of those romance movies where people do crazy things in the name of love? After I dealt with a mean girl first hand, I realized the value of loyalty in friends. Of course, the pitfall to experience is to not let it jade you, which is definitely something I struggle with. When you don't have the experience and try to help, I think the best thing you can do is try to be a voice of reason but otherwise be supportive and not critical.

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Confidence -> Arrogance --> Conceit --> Superiority --> Delusion --> Imposing --> Annoying

This is a pattern I'm seeing a little too often these days. I've also noticed that the later in life you develop the first in the pattern, the more likely the rest will follow. Everyone is guilty of all of these at some point but hopefully you get over it before it becomes a problem.

I've been quite confident most of my life. My volleyball coach in high school told me I have a quiet confidence and that I lead by example. I've always remembered that expression ''a quiet confidence'' and have regarded it as a compliment. A related comment that my friend more recently told me is that I'm headstrong. This is somewhat different than stubborn (which I also am) but was meant more in the sense that I go after what I want till I get it. I would call it tenacity.  I feel like I do these things with my quiet confidence that I have had since I can remember. This confidence tells me that I can do it. Of course, there are other ways in which I am confident but at they same time shy. Overall though, I don' have a problem with believing in myself and knowing what I'm capable of. (what I want to do is another story, lol)

All that being said, I have witnessed people recently becoming more confident. For some of these people, they have used that to better themselves while others have used it to literally exclaim their perceived greatness and use as a license to be rude and offensive. Watching these transformations has been like watching a caterpillar turn into butterfly on a high-speed film or watching a slow-motion car wreck.

In this pattern, the characteristics are only separated by a thin veil. Once you become confident, it's easy to become arrogant, and with a compliment here and there become conceited etc. Stating anything outright about yourself unprovoked is a clear sign that you are seeking validation from other people about that thing. Until someone tells you you're confident/intelligent/beautiful/talented, don't go proclaiming it. You can believe it, sure, that's being self-confident, but to proclaim it takes away from it.

The point of no return for most is delusion. Someone who is delusional is a scary thing. Suddenly their actions become justified due to their beliefs. Talking to a delusional person is basically a waste of time. They sincerely believe they are correct in all their wrongness and become insulted when your opinions differ from theirs. At the very least, accepting a difference of opinion can still allow ones to be friends but once the next stage is reached, imposing, the friendship is strained. Telling someone what to do based on your opinions gets old - fast. Insulting friends based on your opinions is the lowest act. Finally, you become the subject of avoidance because you are so annoying that your presence is not welcomed. It's a sad state to be in - to be so ''confident'' that you drive other people away with it.

The opposite of confidence is not humility. It's insecurity. So, as a favorite ANTM quote of mine goes, ''eat a big slice of humble pie'' and get over yourself.

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It has become very evident to me lately that there are different versions of ''maturing or growing as a person'' Just because time has passed by does not necessarily mean someone has matured or grown at all. A lot of things cause us to grow. Situations, environment change. tragedies.. but regardless of any of this, the lesson in these things can be still be lost on us.

I've been thinking a lot about how to grow from this experience in Japan as an ALT and the ways in which others around me are growing. I don't think I've grown much from this experience at all so far since I've mostly just been trying to comfortably get by. I wonder what the problem is... am I too stuck in my ways? have I not been forced out of my comfort zone enough? or inversely, have I been put too far out of my comfort zone that now I cling to the familiar? do I need to force the change more and accept it at a later time? It's a bit frustrating.. I see other people in my life growing and becoming better people and am genuinely happy for them. I however feel stuck. The past keeps tapping on my shoulder wanting attention and all I want to do is leave it where it is. This makes me feel stuck. Having the same issues pop up over and over because of incompetence. This makes me feel stuck. Even looking the same way I always have makes me feel stuck. Where I have seen different versions is that meanwhile, other people think that they need to inconvenience other people in order to mature and/or accept their ''maturity.''. On a side note, if you don't know this about me, I absolutely detest inconsiderate people.

I remind myself that everyone is on their path. I've always been one to do things at my own pace so this is just another one of those things I guess.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming ...and all that.

end of mini-rants :)

new blog!

For a while now I knew that I would have a separate blog set up for my adventures and misadventures in Japan. I set it up about a month ago and now that I`m ready to write my first post, I will announce its existence to the world. It is called JET setter. Although this isn`t a very unique name (especially for those who create blogs for the purpose of documenting their JET Program experience), I know I thought about it long before I ever became a JET so I claim it as my own idea, hehe. ^.^v

I will be importing some old blog entries from here to that blog so that it makes more sense chronologically. I will continue to update this blog with my randomness but that blog will be for JET and Japan related expereinces solely.

 Here`s the link. Enjoy!

http://spjetsetter.blogspot.com/

Shutterfly

I recently finished creating a personalized photo book on Shutterfly. If you don't know what this is, it's basically online scrap booking that you can then have published into a book. It's a great way to personalize and share photos and especially fun for creative types like me.

It has been recommended that JETs take plenty of photos from their live back to combat homesickness. Is it just me or does this seem counter intuitive since usually photos make one nostalgic? Who knows, maybe I'm just more of an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of person.. Anyways, that coupled with the fact that I've had one of the best years of my life starting from last August (2010) till now (July 2011) made me decide, sure why not?

I received an offer for a free Shutterfly book when I bought my new camera last year, but only recently realized the expiration date was fast approaching. I initially thought to use this opportunity for the Miami Photo Project since the main intent of that project is to share it with others, but my car sold insanely fast and has left me mostly stranded at my house. Thus, I decided to just take this free offer and make something special for me.

I would say the process took a total of twelve hours between selecting pictures (taken over the course of a year), figuring out the layout of the book, and then playing with the picture placement. This may seem daunting or a completely waste of time to most but I really enjoyed the whole process. Ironically, I had a friend in high school who was really into scrap booking but couldn't get me into it. All the tools, stickers, pages and other nonsense to just put one picture on a page? Kill me now. But with online scrap booking the whole process was so much better - plus the option to scrap a whole page the next day without any waste! This process also made me feel like the yearbook editor that I never was in high school (something I kind of regret). At the time, I had been asked to join the yearbook staff but they would meet before school at 7:30am and there was no way I could make it at that time. As it was, I was routinely late for or missed first period altogether because although I get up early, I'm a sloth in the mornings. Looking back, I probably would have been the best yearbook editor in EVER.

When I look at the finished pages, there is a balance and symmetry that will never be appreciated by the majority of people who see it. I am very methodical in my creativeness. For example, on my family pages, I essentially built my family tree with every cousin, aunt and uncle, and immediate family member being within perfect proximity to each other. On the second page I was a little more liberal, but the everyone is still there. On the third page, I limited it to just my immediate family. I wouldn't say I'm OCD, but I will say that I'd be pretty upset if I forgot to put someone on page or something similar. Like I know I'd be reminded of it each time I look.

So trust me when I say there was a methodology applied to each page and at least I appreciate it. The pictures may be too small but you can click on them for a bigger version. I was highly amused by this project and find it more aesthetically pleasing in general to look at pictures this way than by clicking through them on a computer folder. Enjoy!

heart of japan

The one thing I was most curious and anxious about when I applied for the JET Program was my placement, a.k.a. my new home in Japan. Unlike the interview and acceptance notices, the placement notifications were unprecedentedly late (by a whole month). It was great news to know that I was accepted but then surreal to believe I'd actually moving to Japan in only three months when I hadn't heard from the consulate in so long.

The Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami happened a month before I was informed that I had been accepted. At first, the fears of my loved ones had been completely unfounded seeing that I hadn't even been accepted yet. However, as that terrible situation continued to unfold, news of my acceptance brought about genuine concern and anxiety. On the application that I submitted in November, you are allowed to request up to three places (with no guarantee that you'll be placed in any of them). Not heeding the advice given to me about the likelihood of receiving a popular request, I put choices like Kyoto and Hirakata (near Osaka). These places are familiar to me since I had studied abroad at two universities in the area, but weakened my chances of actually getting a requested location.

As suspected, the delay was in fact due to the March 11th events. When the events happened, CLAIR, one of the JET Program branches, had to drop everything concerning getting the new applicants established with a contracting organizations (CO) and instead confirm the safety of their current JETs. This was, of course, completely understandable but it created a unique set of circumstances for this year's batch of new JETs. Being accepted into the program is not the end but more like being three quarters on your way to moving to Japan. The more time you have knowing where you're placed allows you to prepare more effectively, get in contact with your predecessor and schools, mail boxes over, and so on.

The days of June 13 / 15 / 28, 2011:

This odd assortment of dates represent when I finally knew the details of my placement. On June 13th, I was contacted via an unknown email that turned out to be my CO. They had a random question about my preferred living arrangement. This was a very perplexing way to find out my placement because 1) your CO should not be contacting you before your consulate does, 2) I had only been told the prefecture I was in, not the city, and 3) how do I tell them my preferred living arrangement without outright stating my exact preference of city? The last one I handled well. I volunteered that there was only one city I had been to in that prefecture and that I wouldn't mind going back to live in it. This strategy either went unnoticed or failed in the end. ::le sigh:: So which prefecture? Hyogo! But, but where in Hyogo?! Hyogo is ginormous! So that city I mentioned? A little place called Kobe. You might have heard of it as one of the most popular, well-known, cities in Japan. Kind of exciting right? I practiced restrained excitement, but already knew I'd be in Kansai, my area of preference and thus was hugely relieved.

On June 15th, I was contacted via email by my Consulate with the kind of subject line I had originally anticipated - "JET Placement!" This was nothing but a huge tease since I was hoping to find out more concrete information. It turned out I am what is called a Prefectural JET and so my Consulate only knows my prefecture until my CO contacts me with more information. Considering I had been asked nearly everyday if I had heard my placement, I decided to let my family and friends know the prefecture even if I didn't know the city yet. They were so happy and relieved as well.

So without much else to go on, I finally started researching my prefecture!

 

Hyōgo Prefecture is know as 'The Heart of Japan' because it is geographically the center of the country. When I think about it, Japan has always been in my heart so I found it fitting that I'd be living in its figurative heart as well. As I mentioned earlier, prior to learning my placement, the only time I had been in Hyōgo was to visit the capital city, Kobe. I loved the ultra-modernness of Kobe even though I was only able to see the port area. I hadn't tried Kobe beef either so I was excited to go back and have some ridiculously expensive and delicious meat! Hyōgo is also known as 'Japan in miniature.' This is because the prefecture is rich in traditional and contemporary culture, full of natural beauty, and home to a highly modernized society and business market. Japan as a whole is often remarked upon for having these contrasting yet appealing aspects and considering this one prefecture possesses all of these traits, makes 'Japan in miniature' a fitting description.

I was very excited to live here after just reading a few things about this place. But like I said, Hyōgo is a large prefecture and my eyes couldn't help but roam towards eastern Hyōgo where I could be more closely located to my requested cities of Kyoto and Hirakata as well as other large cities like Kobe, Osaka, and Nara.

Finally, on June 28th while away in New York visiting my brother, I was watching a Project Runway marathon, having a conversation, and checking my email at the same time (ADD or great multi-tasker? you decide) when I noticed the email from my CO. Quite matter-of-factly, he wrote that I would be at Hikami Senior High and gave me a link to the school's website. My first shock was that I was at a high school. I had requested elementary but I later guessed the teaching experience listed on my application better suited me for high school. Next, I rushed to find out where in all of Hyogo Hikami was, only to find out that recently, Hikami had been merged with six other towns to form the city of Tamba - in eastern Hyōgo!! I must admit that this wasn't how I felt at first. I had foolishly hoped too much for Kobe and had also seen some other towns even closer to Kyoto and Osaka. In the end I realized I was being ridiculous though since I definitely could've been on the other side of the prefecture, way too far from my favorite places to go often at all. The town also seems a quite rural, something else I hadn't requested, but at least people have heard of it which was definitely a good sign.

Here's Tamba City in Eastern Hyogo!

As you can see, I am not that far from the major cities I requested (total city girl here). In fact, according to Google maps, I'm about 2 hours all these major cities, making them definite options for weekend trips!

There you have it! Though I'm excited and grateful for being placed in Hyōgo, at the moment I'm more focused on soaking up Miami and making sure I'm ready for the transition.

丹波市、兵庫県、日本

Here I come!

miami photo project

I have A LOT to do before I leave for Japan, but one task I have given myself is both for my benefit and for the benefit of my future students. I have dubbed it the 'Miami Photo Project' and have drawn up a list of 50 pictures I want to take that will represent me, Miami, and my relationship with my hometown.

This compilation will remind me of home as seen through my eyes and get me through those homesick days when all I will want to see are familiar sights and faces. For my students, I will most likely be telling them about myself and where I come from, so I believe these pictures will come in handy to keep them interested.

Some examples of my selections that represent me will be pictures of my room, my family, my friends, my dog, my car, my office, and my school. Some examples of Miami would be the beach, a sunset, palm trees, alligators, iguanas, and the skyline. My relationship with my hometown would definitely have some Cuban highlights like La Carreta, cafesitos, calle ocho, and Little Havana. I made references to my Cuban heritage in both my application and interview as a kind of two-for-one bonus that my students would learn about since I can describe both American and Cuban culture in my lessons. I'll make Cuban coffee drinking, salsa dancing Japanese kids my legacy in Japan!

If you can think of other things in Miami that I should take a picture of, let me know! My good friend and wonderful photographer is going to accompany me on some of these photo-finding trips so I'll have more time and eyes on the lookout for any suggestions.

Till then, keep being amused!

rejoice for a dream

The title is a play on Mozart's 'requiem for a dream.' The humor you see, is that my dream is not dead. On the contrary it is alive and well.

I wrote another entry called 'relief' not too long ago which was the short dramatic story about how I found out that I had passed the first stage in a very competitive job-selection process. Well, now I'm here to tell the dramatic tale of how I landed the job! Yup! I got it!!

I interviewed in late February and felt that I had done an exceptional job after a month of practice and preparation. A wonderful friend of mine (and former JET participant) helped me and my bf practice with mock interviews. As for preparations, well, there were many months put into research, internships, and volunteering to give myself every chance of proving to them that I was a perfect fit for this program. On the day of the interview, I did my best and let God do the rest as the saying goes. I was relaxed, professional, conversational, and intuitive on how to respond.

We had been told that the results would be announced in mid-April. So at work on exactly April 15th, I began to wonder about my fate. People around would ask me if I was nervous about or anticipating the results. Honestly though, I barely had time to think about the results throughout the month of March. I was fully consumed with finishing strong in my graduate studies and accordingly, planning graduation celebrations. However, when April 15th did arrive, I started to stare off in the distance more often, prompting those around me to ask, "So, when will you know?" My answer, "sooooon."

I had every confidence in myself that I was a perfect fit for the JET Program but as I said in my last post, even the most qualified are not always accepted. So with that in mind, I applied to second program called Interac. Although JET was my dream, my determination to live in Japan knew no bounds. Even with the tragic earthquake of March 11, my resolve did not waiver, but it did make things more complicated. Naturally, concerned family members and friends feared for my future safety but I wasn't about to give up that easily. This dream had been years in the making after all.

Friday, April 15th, 2011: A quite normal day if you don't count the plans to go on a ghost tour for a friend's birthday that night. My boyfriend (who was also awaiting results) and I were arguing one of our pointless arguments when he noticed a new email on his computer screen.

He was placed on the Alternate list which is not a no, but not a yes. A limbo of sorts unless a position opens up. He got up, laid on his bed, sighed, and closed his eyes. At the same time, I ran to my computer and skimmed my email in a nanosecond and saw it, "Congratulations, you have been selected to be on the short list of candidates.." basically meaning,
I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED!

This wasn't how I imagined this moment to be especially since my boyfriend was distraught in the next room. So instead of jumping for joy, tears of joy came down my face.

I found out about the JET program in high school and always saw it as not only a great experience, but my ticket to living in Japan, my dream. Here I was eight years later being told that it was going to happen. It was overwhelming and made me overcome with how proud of myself I was.

Right now I am still in the process of conducting background checks, visa applications, and all the other necessary and timely steps that it takes to employ someone in another country, but come July 30th, I will be officially starting the next chapter in my life. I am SO excited!

Ironically this was my fortune from a fortune cookie last night:

Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake

Until then, I will continue rejoicing for my dream come true.

accomplishments.

I recently had an epiphany.

To put this in context, I have the ability (either to my benefit or my detriment) to be able to associate similar situations from the present to ones in the past as soon as it happens. With my analytical nature, this leads to me see these past situations in a whole new light taking into account new information and experiences that I've learned from along the way.

A friend of mine made a innocent comment the other day that was negative in nature towards one of my current goals. Something that made my goal seem less important and trivial. I took it in stride but it made me realize the intent behind similar actions that took place a year ago.

My so-called friend at the time would constantly say what a joke my Masters program is and that she would never join it. Sadly, at the time I agreed with her and justified my participation based on my circumstances. However looking back and knowing what I know now, she was jealous (of way more than just my studies, but that's besides the point).There is a small population of graduate students at FIU who have a TAship. I'm one of them. There isn't a large percentage of the general population that can say they had their M.A. degree when they were only 24. I will. I don't say these things to boast, because I am extremely grateful and aware of how blessed I am. However, people who aren't happy with themselves will always try to bring others down to feel better about themselves.

That's the real point of this blog entry. To be proud of you.
To stand up for yourself and your beliefs. To never let someone belittle your dreams, your goals, your ideals, your morals, your choices, or your appearance.
If they do, don't be afraid to speak up. Be tactful, not insulting, but say what you need to say.

Also, don't be afraid to celebrate you. It's always nice when people want to celebrate or congratulate you for achievements and on special occasions, but if you want to go above and beyond, go for it. Whatever the occasion, if you want to celebrate it, you should. There's a SATC episode where one the girls is getting married for a second time and feels it to be inappropriate to make a big deal out of it. Her friends tells her she's being ridiculous to feel that way about her happy situation. I'll be graduating for a second time this month and I felt the same way at first about making a big to-do over another graduation ceremony, but I got over that when I saw that episode again. I've already been making preparations and in less than a month I'll be celebrating this achievement exactly as I want - with family, friends, food, drinks, new outfits, hair and make-up appointments, pictures, and a cruise I've wanted to go on for a loooong time now. Can you tell I'm excited? D-mn straight I am and I've earned it! Woo hoo!!!

Thank you to those who have always encouraged, supported, and openly stated how happy for and proud of me they are. I'm starting to realized these are the only people that matter. 

This is going to be my on my grad cruise! Be jealous on your own!