I get it now

My musing for today:

Not everyone thinks like you do. Duh, right? So how come I've been incredibly frustrated trying to get certain individuals to understand what I'm on about or trying to convey. I'd venture to say I have a strong command over the English language, a proclivity for concise, accurate word choices, am able to come up with good metaphors, and yet, there are still miscommunications.

I get it now.

It doesn't matter how logical my argument is or how well I'm able to communicate it if we don't think the same way. I used to think this was a difference in priorities, but that's not always the case. Sometime, what occurs to me just doesn't even occur to someone else. They didn't actively place this thing lower on their priority list, it just didn't even occur to them to place it where you have it.

And by no means is this an easy thing to accept when YOU are the priority they neglect to place.

It's sobering. It's also difficult to re-train your mind to not place them at such a level that only serves to remain frustrating for you when not reciprocated. Don't get me wrong, this isn't re-training done out of spite, but you do have to protect your own peace of mind if constantly putting someone's feelings at a priority level that they don't reciprocate upsets you. If it doesn't bother you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, good on you, and I genuinely wish I could be that way. Maybe one day.

For now though, I get it. Finally get it.

just 'cause

my musing for today:

I've noticed that any version of Pachalbel's 'Canon in D' can make me cry. Why is that? I start to imagine my wedding day and how beautiful everything will be and most importantly how happy I will be. After a whole day of laughter and smiles while getting ready to walk down the aisle, when I hear this song start, it'll be my personal reminder to take a moment to realize the significance of the day.

And I'll have cried all the times before when I heard it so as not to cry then.

Itsuka. Someday.

breathe in, breathe out

There was a tiny spark of hope the other day.

I was told by someone other than my family and friends how far I can go. This may not sound like much until I do something, but that kind of encouragement from strangers is affirming.

Later my dad was also making sense when he said that what I'm going through now seems hard but it will pass. When it does I'll look back and like most things in life, it will seem so easy once it's done.

But the truth that remains is that no one can do it for me. Somehow I have to keep going.

tardy *wink*

my musing for today:

Would you want the ability to stop time or time travel? I don't know about all the stipulations placed on either, but it seems like the obvious choice would be to time travel because you get the best of both worlds. Even if you can't stop time, you can let things play out and if you don't like the outcome, then go back and change them. At the very least you can change whatever actions you had that led to the outcome you didn't like and hope that influences a change in those around you. But humoring the notion that you would choose stopping time instead of time traveling, you could always freeze situations and manipulate them in a way to benefit yourself. Handy because no matter how many times you travel back in time, that doesn't help you slip by peoples unawares or pull some epic pranks.

Hmm, maybe I'm not so sure anymore about which ability I'd choose...

What are your thoughts? Anything I haven't considered?

seven and some change..

Well hello there, it's been a while~

I miss writing. I haven't had any real excuse not to be writing, I've just been in my own head too much. Alas, I'm back. I have been reading a lot though so hopefully my writing is a little more colorful as a result.

my musing for today:



I'm currently getting ready for a Christmas party. I'm wearing a new dress, my hair is styled prettily while I'm employing every make up technique I know and I must say, I look quite sexxxy. But then I looked at myself and thought, is this the best I can do? If I were going to meet some VIP member of society right now, how much better could I look? Well I suppose I could go get my hair and make up done professionally and buy an even fancier dress, but those are external. So I looked at myself I thought, 'This is the best version of me at this moment and it is more than enough.'

It was an odd train of thought to go down but I was quite proud of myself for turning around a self-depreciating thought into one where I am enough. And no, I don't normally have body or self worth issues, but like most girls in this day and age of vanity, maintaining a positive body image takes a little extra effort sometimes.

you know how I know you love me?

my musing for the day:

You know how I know you love me?

When unbidden, you offer to drop everything to be at my disposal. For the big things and the small. This never goes unnoticed or is ever forgotten by me.. I hope. Because the things I can't ask for that those actions provide, means more to me than I can ever express.

xoxo

words from yester year

my musing for today:

The Internet is the coolest place I know. No, seriously. And the advent of social media means finding cool stuff on the internet takes little effort on my part except to scroll by it. I was in awe looking at this post on Twisted Sifter about a time capsule chest from Oklahoma. 1913-2013. This wasn't something accidental or happened upon either. The chest was made intentionally and full of a variety of artifacts that gave an invaluable look at typical life in Oklahoma in 1913 - newspapers, books, clothing, food, paintings, pictures, and much much more. Many of the letters were addressed to the descendants of people who lived at that time. How wild! To one day receive word that your great, great, great grandparents wrote to you! My favorite part of this project is the message to the future that was included in the newspaper of the day they sealed the time capsule. Imagine, everyone who read the message in the newspaper that day and all the thousands more people who will read it online today saw these words, absorbed their meaning, and have successfully communicated through a century. Just awesome. It reads,

Spirit of 1913 Greets the Year 2013

Written especially for the Century Chest

(April 22, 2013)

Well, well, and is this you 2013? Here are we, the spirit of 1913, your many time great-grand parent. 

We were slain by New Year and buried in the garden of Once Upon a Time. Yet, through all these years have we lived, for out of the dust of us have grown the trees under whose shades the young have snuggled close in Cupid's arms; the old have dreamed of yester-whiles. The fragrant magnolia and the lily pure and white and fair to see- all have taken root within our heart. And we have wondered at the beauty, moulded by the Craftsman who alone is perfect in His craftsmanship. 

How aged & infirm we feel as we number bairns that have sprung from our loins; yet how immature were we on that December night so long ago, when the big clock struck and toddling steps were at their journey end. 

Of all the masters that the world has known, Time alone, our master, is unchanged. In rain, in sun, in wind, and torrid heat, he journeys on his feet unfettered and his trudge unbound.

We the spirit of another year, whose breasts have suckled many souls, greet you today and offer this balm for weary hearts. On earth, in Heaven, in hell, there's no decay save that which turns the goodly to the things of ill. The brave, the true, the Lordly, the right live on. The pressure of a hand, the smile, the word of cheer, when we have gone, give comfort to the stricken of another year. 

Year 2013, how's our town? Did that man get the dollar that he sought and if he got it were all the things he bought worth all the care lines and the frown that gathered? Was his heart as big, his laugh as great - or did he crumble 'neath the touch of fate and yearn to turn aback the hands of time?